Regarding Relationships

There are so many who believe they have a relationship and do not. Where there is true relationship there is no manipulation, domination, or control. If something has to be done to maintain a relationship, it is built on the wrong foundation. It is sad to say that people are working to maintain a relationship that is not there. In true relationship, there is no need for trying and no need for doing. To state, "if you love me," you would do, or not do, certain things is only proof that there is no true relationship. There is an old saying, "I love you because you are," full stop. A relationship built on pure love has no requirement to perform, or meet any conditions. True relationships are built by "where the heart is." When you have another person in your heart and you likewise, are in theirs, that relationship is truly complete. Years ago I met a lady who told me that her partner was so in her heart that when he was in Jail she wanted to be in jail with him. She would spend her days sitting on the steps outside the jail. Now we come to the truth of the matter. When one person has another in their heart but the other person does not, that relationship is disastrous. The one with the person in their heart believes a relationship exists, while the other could not care less. The one who holds the person in their heart will always end up getting hurt. True relationship exists only when two people have each other in their hearts. Because my wife and I came into the relationship with unity of heart and mind we have been going strong for 50 years. True relationship will spring from both parties having a living relationship with Father God by the Holy Spirit? When God is in the center of everything we do, every other relationship is in the correct place. Mt 6:21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. True relationship is exhibited when two people living together, set one another free to make mistakes without judgment. The following is a practical testimony of people who had mixed up relationships in their hearts. Bruce and I worked together building houses at a time when we both had young families, what surprised me was on a Friday after work, Bruce would go home, have a shower and take off to visit his brother for the weekend leaving his wife with their young children. We each had 5 children, our friendship was so close we would often take holidays together. Then came the day that Bruce's wife said she was leaving and indeed she did leave. The next morning, Bruce thought to end his life by use of gas from his car's exhaust when a voice said to him, "That will not do, phone Roy", which he did. I said for him to come round and sit a while. While he was on his way I prayed what I should do and say to him and the immediate answer was, "Just love him". The marriage ended in divorce but over time Bruce found healing for his soul and spirit. From that moment until he passed into eternity, Bruce spent most of his time building. During the winters he would head to warmer climates. Bruce helped build many mission stations, especially in Tonga and Hawaii. One day I visited him in the town in NZ where he lived. He shared with me that he had an emotional bonding with a lady. I thought to ask him right out if he had slept with her. When I did, his reply was, "Yes" To this I replied that he had created a soul tie because of what they did, and he needed to repent and renounce her out of his heart. Bruce agreed and after repenting felt freedom and release, true repentance sets a person free from guilt and bondage. He asked if I would go and pray for this lady, so we arranged a time. I went, and as I was entereing the house I again asked Father God to show me the way to the root of the subject, as I wished to spend as little time as possible with this lady. This because I knew of her, and realized that at middle age she had become a prostitute. Her background was that she married young, she and her husband had 2 children and also worked in youth ministry. Her husband committed adultery and got the lass pregnant, so he divorced his wife and married the lass. The wife had remained single till the day I spoke to her as well as raising her children on her own. As I walked in the door I suddenly knew what to say to her. I said, "Normally men and women give their heart to the person who takes their virginity" She replied, "You are right," and told me who that was. I told her she had two sins she needed to repent of. One was having a soul tie with a married man. The other was not having a heart to give her husband when she was married, which gave him an excuse to join his heart and flesh with another woman. She immediately repented and Father God filled her with his love, joy and peace. I then left. I returned to Bruce and said I needed to ask him a question. "Did you have a bang, or a leap inside when you first met the lady that became your wife? He replied "NO". He had met her at a youth gathering and took a bet with some young men there, that he could cut her out of the relationship she was in and marry her. I then asked him if he'd had a bang inside before that time with any other woman. He replied, "YES" He told me the name of the lady, it was someone we knew. The question in all this is, who was married to whom at the heart level? I believe this is the cause for most divorces. One person has their heart, [Soul, emotions and affections] invested in a relationship and the other does not, or in some cases, neither do.