By Roy Waldrom
Why was man created?
To reflect his Creator.
Genesis 1:26-27.

Male was created first. Genesis 2:7
Then God created Female out of part of man. Genesis 2:21
Man = Male and Female, not one or the other, only complete when both
come together and walk in harmony and produce life. (Offspring)
He produces the seed and she incubates the seed and gives it a body to live

And God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness
To have dominion over the fish, birds, cattle, over all the earth, and every
creeping thing that creeps on the earth.
Why was woman created?
To be a companion.
Genesis 2:18
To be a helper. To help, succor, support.
To succor = assistance in time of difficulty;
Together to carry out what they were created for.
This was to be done in relationship with their Creator.

They lost control of the world to Satan.
Genesis 3 Locked themselves in to control through the Tree of the
Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Then came Calvary, where the disobedience of the fall was atoned for, and
again, out of choice, man could return to reflecting his creator’s image and
taking dominion, as he lives in a living relationship with his creator by
eating of the Tree of Life.
Satan, after Calvary, can only gain control by deception.
2 John 7 For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not
that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.
Satan sends thoughts, situations, problems, all to tempt man to judge out of
knowledge gained from the Tree of Knowledge.

As long as man goes to the Tree of Life he remains in that place of
This requires communication with Father God, through Jesus, by the Holy
Spirit and with each other as Man, especially husbands and wives and on to
their children.
Man living in harmony with God and himself fulfills what man was created
As Jesus, the bridegroom, is not complete without his bride (the church) so
the male is not complete without the female.
For the male to come to his full potential he needs a bride.
As he fulfills her needs, she in return brings him to his full potential.
Complete manhood is only obtained through woman.
Anything less is independence and control on his part.
Hence for man to come to full stature, he needs a woman to make that
For a woman to make that happen, she has to be complete by the male
meeting her needs.
It is all about communication.

To be one, there needs to be open and continual communication with Father
God by the Spirit and as man and wife, with each other.
Adam and Eve were not communicating with God, or each other.

The more the western world has buried itself in what can be only described
as secular humanism, (which is all about self, man, soul, law and nothing of
the spirit) the spiritual world is an anathema.
Yet man has a spiritual side and tries to satisfy it with all sorts of witchcraft;
e.g. Superstition, Meditations, Eastern Religions, Divination, Seances, all
of which control by supernatural powers.
Re – Communication.

In the Old Testament, they were told to convey the things of the law,
wherever they were, home, work, walking, playing, wherever. Deut 6:7
In the New Testament, we are told that the fellowship we are having with
Father God we are to have with each other. 1 John 1:3
To add to this, Jesus even knew their thoughts, Matthew 12:25.
The Spirit is a two-edged sword, a discerner of the thoughts and intents of
the heart. Hebrews 4:12.

As for being totally honest and sharing our thoughts, that would be true
openness and honesty.
There is a film out where a man could hear people’s thoughts and we
laughed our heads off.
The Holy Spirit knows every thought we have and the reason behind the

Adam failed to be responsible for Eve, he left the serpent to talk her into
eating from the forbidden tree.
He even blamed God for her, and said she was His responsibility.
Genesis 3:12 – “The woman you gave me”
To be responsible is an act of will, a choice.
To be responsible there needs to be communication.
To be responsible is to be a channel.

Man was given dominion over the earth and every thing in it, but as a
channel, not the source.
Man is to be responsible for woman, Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally and
Women are to let men be responsible in those areas.
How is this done for each area?
Washing the woman with the word. Ephesians 5:26

These are Father’s words from the written word, words that build up, not
words of judgment.
Also personal encouragement, as most mens words to their wives are words
of either correction or judgment.

Feeding the mind with information that is a blessing, also through her telling
him what she has heard through the day from wherever, Bible, TV, Radio,
reading or listening to other people. He is responsible to show her in a Godly
manner, things that Father God tells him by the Spirit are not edifying.
Put another way, he is to tell her , of the seed she has gathered, which to
cultivate and which to discard.

At all times when stressed, he is to provide the logical answer and give her a
hug. He is to be a good listener, not react, but stay calm, especially in voice.

Make sure all her needs are met. Made clear in, 1 Peter 3:7.
To know, to perceive, to be aware where the wife and daughters are at all
times and cover (Protect) them.
Women are to let man be responsible in those areas.
To give the logical answer to what she hears and feels.
When a female is born, in their heart they know they are vulnerable and need
protection. When the natural father fails to provide, the female grows up
with a wounded spirit and will either wander through life an emotional mess
going from one hurt to another, or put a wall around their own heart, thus
becoming hard and independent.

She rejects male leadership and seeks to take charge.

For healing to take place, all judgment of failure needs to be removed.
The place to start is to accept that man is a created being, and has a maker
and needs to read what his handbook says on the subject.
1 Corinthians 11:3. Know Father God’s order and accept it with a glad heart.
To have a submissive attitude, not out of law, but with a grateful heart.
Many men come into marriage ignorant of their responsibility.
Many women come into marriage broken emotionally because the first man
in their lives, (their Dad), failed to cover their emotions or any of the other 3

Women get into cycles of abusive relationships because they judge when it
first happened, and what they judge looses a spirit to control them.
To judge is to play god, it is an act of pride.
When a response is one of judgment to a situation, the respondent binds
themselves into the judgment behind the situation.
When they marry they have an expectation that this area will be covered, but
because they have judged their father for his failure, this locks the husband
out from being able to be responsible. Thus it poisons the relationship
because the male cannot participate and meet his responsibilities to do the
right thing. The woman is bound in fear by her judgment, and won’t or can’t

Males direction spiritually and naturally should be found in a living
relationship with Father God through Jesus, by the Holy Spirit.
All female direction should be found first in their human father, then in their
husband, who are to be a channels of Father God through Jesus by the Holy

When the male operates in this fashion, the female will not have a
“submission issue” because she will feel protected, guarded and loved.
In the case of having neither father nor husband, she is free to go straight to
God and be open to whomever He uses to be his channel.
Should the female judge either her father or her husband for their failure in
not being responsible, she will then take on a control of independence, and
come under the spirit of deception.
They are locked into deception, cannot discern the truth, ruled by emotions
or logic, summed up in fear, which blocks the clear word.
Eve was easily deceived
2 Corinthians 11:3.
But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his
subtlety, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in

Should they refuse to repent of their judgment, they put themselves into
isolation, and the male is no longer responsible.
They lock themselves in and the male out.
The reverse of this is, the male has married the person he deserves because
he has allowed himself to be seduced from his right to lead – either by
judging his mother for speaking negative things about his father or men in
general, or in childhood he let a girl lead him into sexual foreplay.
The result of this is found in Proverbs 7.
At the point of judging and acting out their judgment, a person no longer
believes in that relationship, e.g. friendship, marriage
Through judging all relationships are killed. (destroyed)
Unless judgment is removed there can be no true reconciliation.
Any couple that stays together where there is judgment are both
controlled by the judgment.

Both have to forgive to mend a broken relationship.
In marriage this can happen either way. Where either partner repents but the
other refuses to do so, the unrepentant has departed the marriage and the
other must let them go. If not, they come under the same control.
The male has departed when he doesn’t take up his responsibilities.

A big factor to breakdown of any relationship, especially marriage, is lack of

In the heart of either is an idol of Selfishness, Independence, Pride.
In such situations the big question is, how would one minister these insights
into a dysfunctional relationship, once you heard the sob story of the victim?
Where does one go from here to help folk get insight?
The hardest thing to get across to the wounded is that what happened, no
matter how bad, was just a happening often in early childhood.
What has given it control and keeps it as a now living pain is the victims
To tell them it is their judgment that is the problem, is like putting a bomb
under them.
But, it is the truth. Hence it must be spoken in love.
The key to release is to repent for judging.

True repentance opens the door for Father God to flood that person with His
love and healing followed by joy and peace.
The fault of the victim is the judging of the event, not the actual event.
The victim mentality wants revenge/justice/recompense, etc.
A big problem is how to convey to the person that what happened to them
was wrong/bad/undeserved, etc., but their error is judging what happened
and thus locking in the pain of the event/act.

Another issue – how do you counsel the victim who might well be the
“innocent” party to the event and wounded?
How do you teach them their accountability for their reaction/response, and
lead them to repent of that, and to forgive?
The answer is to tell them you have the key to setting them free.

It is like a Doctor telling you the key to you getting better is to do this or
take that.
In the past, when a person becomes wounded, we have believed the key to
healing was to get the perpetrator to repent and pay restoration of some kind,
even to go to jail for a period of time.
What we are now seeing to be healed, is that as Father God has wiped out all
His judgment against us, all we have to do is wipe out all our judgments
against our fellow man.

There is no such thing as innocence, because we are all born sinners and our
spirit knows that.
Born in sin and shapen in iniquity. Psalm 51:5
There is such a thing as ignorance, which leads mankind to have false

These false expectations are judgments, laws, controls that bind and set a
person up for a fall.
In the mix is fear. It can be the fears of the parents which opens the door to
the affliction.
That which he feared came upon him. Job 3:25.
Yes, the bottom line is my response to whatever, that determines from that
moment on freedom or bondage.

As long as the victim does not take on board the abuse, they are free.
By the time we come to salvation we have taken on board a truck load, but
Jesus said, cast all your cares on me for I care for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Come unto me all you who are burdened and heavy laden and I will give you
rest. Matthew 11:28-30

The truth is most people do not know the love of God, or know His
forgiveness and their hearts are still unredeemed.
Depart from me, I do not know you, (have never had intercourse with you,
have never pierced your heart) Matthew 7:23.
The key to what has given the past control (trauma, rejection, abuse) and
keeps the pain as a moment by moment living reality, is the victim’s

To tell that to a person who has been emotionally mentally and physically
raped in the most horrible way, can only be received by the anointing of the
Holy Spirit. Hence exhorted to speak the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15.
Unless conveyed by the Spirit, it is taken as judgment.
You are saying it is my fault.
The straight answer is yes, it is.

Pride demands I should never be rejected, demands I should never have any
thing but the best according to my expectations.
Pride demands I was born into this world perfect, sinless and pure with no
room for the sin nature in me, let alone any one else.
There is No acknowledgement that all mankind from the fall are sinners.
All are born under the control of the knowledge of good and evil, with no
right to the Tree of Life.

The wonder of it all is that through Jesus dying for the sin of the world on
the Cross, all mankind has the right to walk away from the Tree of the
Knowledge of Good and Evil (and its control,) to the Tree of Life – by
simply being prepared to repent and turn away from judging in every shape
or form.
Stop playing god by judging mans faults.

Judging what man does, not understanding why.
The reason people do not want to give up judging is because they still want
revenge, are deeply angry, and believe they have a right to judge.
To think that any one who repents of judging can be totally set free and
receive total healing is nothing short of a miracle.
So simple, so profound, it causes many to stumble.
Judging is control and death; not judging is life with a capital L.

Contact Roy Waldrom