An entire seminar by Roy Waldrom

(A) The Inner State of People when Born into the World
(B) God’s Dealing With Sin Through the Cross
(C) Judgment and how it destroys Human Relationships and how to deal with that
(D) What is an Idol in the Heart and how does it Get There
(E) What is a Soul Tie and how does that work
(F) Trauma and its Control
(G) The Destruction of Independence and Control in Marriage and all relationships.
(H) The Root of Divorce
(I) Law Versus Grace
(J) How Spiritual issues affect the Physical Body

(A) The Inner State of People When Born into the World

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and
let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the
cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the
earth.” And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created
him; male and female He created them. (Gen. 1:26,27)
God is a Spirit – He created man in His image, so Man is a spirit, but who also
has a soul, and who lives in a body.
Humanity is born disconnected from God the Creator because of the
disobedience of the First man…
And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree
of which I commanded you not to eat?” (Gen. 3:11)
“And you were dead in your trespasses and sins..” (Eph. 2:1 )
The effects of the disconnection is Death, so that the state of spirit, dead
(because separate from God), the state of the soul, corrupted, and the state of
the body, subjected to decay.
Are you Alone? Fearful? In physical, emotional or mental pain? Abandoned?
Empty? Lost? Confused? Rejected? Sad? Guilty? Depressed? Orphaned?
All these, and more, are the fruits of Death as evidenced in life.
However, God wants to remake the connection. He wants to build a living
relationship with man, and restore life to him. First, to the spirit of man, then to
the soul, and ultimately, the body.
If we can remake this connection, we need never be lonely again. So, instead of
Death and Destruction, we can be…
Healed, Happy, and filled with Love, Joy, and Peace.
Be reconciled to God, and even to yourself!

(B) God’s Dealing With Sin Through the Cross

“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son.
And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone
can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his
Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He
came to help, to put the world right again.”
(John 3:16,17 The Message)
The Bible says that God’s righteous judgement is against the sin offence of man,
but the heart of God, however, is not for judgement, but for restoration…
“mercy triumphs over judgement.” (James 2:13)
As a result, what God did was to take His own judgement upon Himself by
allowing His Son to suffer it. So, by this means, God not only removed man’s
offence against Him, but His own Judgement on man as well!
So great is the resulting restoration, that not only was the way restored for man
to enter into God’s Presence once again, but even to eat of the Tree of Life that
was previously denied him!
Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ,
and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ
reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and
He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. (2 Cor. 5:18,19)
Because Jesus was both God and man, He bridged the gap for all Humanity
when He died (in our place) on the Cross. By this one act, all the world’s
offenses were forgiven, for all people, in every country, in all times, past, present,

(C) Judgment and how it Destroys Human Relationships.

If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if
you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, “Do not
handle, do not taste, do not touch!” ( Col. 2:20,21)
The world is built and run on law and judging…
The nature of God is that all He wants to do is to find ways of filling up everything
with His love. The result is Creation.
The purpose of God in Creation, out of His loving heart as Creator Father God, is
to bring His love, joy and peace through his loving rule.
However, by definition, love, which is about freedom, means that creation must
be founded on the basis of free will.
Hence, the two Trees! For in the Trees is the choice of ruling out of relationship
with God, exercising His rule as his regents, or ruling, independently, outside of
relationship with God.
And the Lord God planted a garden toward the east, in Eden; and there He
placed the man whom He had formed. And out of the ground the Lord God
caused to grow every tree that is pleasing to the sight and good for food; the tree
of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and
(Gen. 2:8,9)
Satan and the angels were given the first choice and he, Satan, chose
independence from God – that is, the second tree. God gave Satan entry to the
Garden to allow him to take Adam to the two Trees (for God would not tempt him,
James 1:13).
Adam chose to eat of the “Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil”, of
independence of God, and exercise his own rule.
However, whereas the judging that is perfect and which can only come from the
heart of God that is righteous, all that man is able to do without that heart, is to
rule through the second Tree, forming opinions and making decisions out of a
formulation of right and wrong, good and evil. This is basis of all society and its
laws, all culture and its values.
However, instead of the righteousness of God, the result of this rule is merely law
and condemnation. This is judging, and through the knowledge of good and evil
that it brings, it introduces independence into creation, instead of relationship
with God.
So, instead of the heart of God extending into creation, law and condemnation is
loosed into it, resulting in Death and Destruction.
Jesus came to redeem Creation, destroying illicit judging, and through His
obedience as the Second Adam, restoring God’s rule in Creation, exercising His
judgments. Those who are his disciples are his co-labourers and co-
intercessors in this work, if we will so choose.
To enact this and bring healing to Creation, His followers must begin by taking all
their judgments off His Creation (above all because these judgements are
against the Creator, Himself).
Then, every judgment must be taken out of every relationship, just as God has
removed all His judgments from us.
But, what exactly is judgment? It is that which condemns and passes
sentence, rejects and pushes away, putting another person under, it is that
which has no love.
And how does it manifest itself? In marriage, for example, by treating the
relationship as, teacher-pupil. Generally, dealing with offences with anger
instead of love.
So, the First Tree is about love, joy and peace and connection between God and
man, and between men. In short, it is all about Relationship.
The Second Tree produces the knowledge of good and evil, allowing mankind to
make judgements outside of a living relationship with Creator God.
However, the result is that outside the loving heart of God, man only sees the
acts and not the motives, giving rise to judging, defending, justifying, accusing.
Judging is inherently part of man’s fallen nature.
The rule of Father God and His kingdom is all about bringing love, joy peace,
security, contentment, which is all freedom. The rule of satan opposes the rule of
God and his aim is to bring domination, manipulation and control.
Where there is no Knowledge there is no Judgement. Knowledge is not the
problem but where the Knowledge came from is the problem the source of the
The outworking of Judging…
1) Judging as the basis of life in this world..
Judging goes far wider than the religious box that Christians put it in. It goes
beyond just passing sentence on people: it is even at the root of having an
opinion, because the question is whether the opinion came from the Tree of Life
(God, the Holy Spirit) or whether it came from the (forbidden) Tree of the
Knowledge of Good and Evil. (It is not that knowledge in itself, is evil – no more
than money is evil – rather it is the love of knowledge, which is evil, in the same
way that the love of money is evil, for it has become a god, that to which we look
for security and guidance.)
Judging also goes even wider, still! It is not just “passing sentence” that
something is evil, it is also passing sentence, that something is good!! All this
is in the second Tree; only God is allowed to say what is good, or evil.
Judging creates law – that is, the setting of standards by which everything is
measured. The result of instituting is that there is now one of two choices placed
before man: he can fight it, or agree with it. In the first case, fighting it, rebellion is
loosed and the result is division. In the second case, agreeing with it, the result is
mere conformity. However, coming from law, that which is evil (in the sight of
the law) and that which is good (in the sight of law), both are bondage, both
embody the spirit of control!!
The Third Way..
Instead of fighting it or doing it, there is an alternative: forgive it!
2) Judging in the Church
The foundation of the Church was such that differences of opinion were resolved
and unity maintained through Spirit lead relationship, there was a point when
judgment and control came into the Church, dividing it into sects and
denominations, bringing separation of relationship, and with it the curse of death
and division, denying it the commanded blessing of unity.
As one example, the outpouring of the Spirit that birthed the Brethren movement
was destroyed through a disagreement between Darby and Newton over a
matter of doctrine concerning leadership that substituted authoritarian structure
over relationship. Every move of the Holy Spirit has been characterized by this
phenomenon of the law opposing the Spirit, to this very day.
Scriptures of judgment
You are measured by the judgment you give. Speck versus plank. (Matthew
7:1-5) judge not, condemn not, forgive and you will be forgiven, give and it will be give
to you good measure pressed down, shaken together and running over. (Luke
You are inexcusable oh man who judge. You who judge, you practice the same
things that you judge for the goodness of God leads man unto repentance.
(Romans 2:1-4)
Do not speak evil of one another and judge your brother. Who are you to judge
another. (James 4:11)
But why do you show contempt for your brother (judge him) each will give an
account to God and therefore do not put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in
your brothers way. Let us not judge one another any more. (Romans 14:10-13)
“Do not go to the world to judge issues amongst yourself the saints will judge
the world and angels. (1 Corinthians 6:1-5)
No weapon formed against shall prosper and every tongue raised against you
will be condemned*. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and your
righteousness is from Me.(Isaiah 54:17)
* How does one condemn without judging, since it also says, We are to judge
not, but we will judge angels and nations; and Those who condemn you, you
shall condemn?
Answer: We condemn by not condemning, by not judging. When we do not judge
another person who is judging, we leave them naked, we leave them with no
argument. We do not fight fire with fire because then we simply build the fire!
What is sin?
Sin, in its simplicity is Disobedience. Lying, cheating, stealing, which are
ordinarily considered as sin are actually just the fruit of sin.
So, sin is disobedience and lawlessness against God. It is not caring about
anyone else – all I care about is me. It is not love, it is not considering the other
person. Sin is to do with the me, with selfishness.
The first disobedience: Adam and Eve chose the tree of Knowledge of Good and
Evil. When they ate from that tree, they came to a place of understanding, seeing
and knowing that they did not have before. Their eyes were opened to the
knowledge of good and evil, they lost their protection and as a result came under
the control of Fear – and which Control uses to control, for where there is no
Fear, there is no control! (1 John 4:18)
Good comes from the same tree as evil. Good is just as forbidden as evil. In both
cases we are working from (a knowledge of) right and wrong. In it we are not
exercising the judgments of God, but judging, accusing, justifying and
defending. It is all to do with self. We are putting self, and the other person,
down. It is a Win/Lose position instead of a Win/Win position.
Good and Evil:
Right / Wrong
All judgement from good and evil is according to what a person, does, and not
on, why. God always judges on,why. He always looks at the motives of the
heart, what is happening in the heart; why they do it not only what they have
The above is the opening to releasing rejection, which is a death curse to all
On the other hand, the Tree of life is Jesus (John 16:6). Man was supposed to
receive all knowledge from the Tree of Life, through the Holy Spirit (John 16:13-

(D) What is an Idol in the Heart and how does it get there?

Definition: An idol is the control of the heart through a judgment.
“You shall have no other gods before me.You shall not make for yourself an idol,
or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the
water under the earth. You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord
your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on
the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing
lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love me and keep my
commandments.” (Ex. 20:3-6)
“Little children, guard yourselves from idols.” (1 John 5:21)
Therefore speak unto them, and say unto them, Thus says the Lord GOD;
Every man of the house of Israel that sets up his idols in his heart, and puts the
stumbling block of his iniquity before his face, and comes to the prophet; I the
LORD will answer him that comes according to the multitude of his idols..
((Ezekiel 14.4))
How does it get there? By judging! When a person judges, they lock an image of
a person and the thing they judged, into the mind and the emotions, which will
control them.
“Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their hearts, and have put right
before their faces the stumbling block of their iniquity. Should I be consulted by
them at all?
(Ezek.. 14:3)
“If you forgive the sins of any, their sins have been forgiven them; if you retain
the sins of any, they have been retained.” (John 20:23)
When we forgive, we are free. And if we do not, then we are bound…
“And do not judge and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will
not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned. (Luke 6:37)
Where there is no judgment, there is no control. What man is emotionally
bonded to, he is controlled by, both negatively and positively. So, you can be just
as much controlled by love, as hate – I either love it or fight it, but either way, I am
controlled by it.
Testimony. A young man in his early teens was asked if he would like some
home made wine. He replied, I will never drink that muck!
However, in just one sentence, this was a vow and a judgment. In so doing, not
just one law was set up, but two – first, that drink is muck, and second, that he
would never drink it.
Two things happened. First, whereas before that event he was free, he noticeably
became judgmental, to the point that ultimately, it drove his son into becoming
an alcoholic.
The father came to see the injury that he had done to his son through his
judging, and by seeking forgiveness of the son, they were restored to
relationship. However, the son, to his father’s puzzlement remained an alcoholic
and it was not until repentance by the father of his judgment and his vow, love
instead of judgment came into the father’s heart and the son was totally
Testimony. A man judged a tractor that it was a lemon! Some while later, when
needing a tractor, and praying about it, all that he could think of was about a
buying one like the one he had judged, even though it would have cost him
Realizing this, he repented of his judgment, and was shown a tractor for
$13,000 that met all his needs.
Most people’s problems are an idol in their heart because they have judged it.
(Even, I am sick, and I say, I should not be sick).
When a thing is an idol in the heart the person has a deaf, dumb and blind spirit,
hence cannot hear from the Holy Spirit as to how to get free (Ps. 115:4-8).
Father God looks at the heart and searches the heart (1 Samuel 16:7; Jeremiah
17:9,10; Matthew 15:8,9; Ezekiel 11:19; 2 Corinthians 5:17). Jesus gave us a
clean heart when we were born of the Spirit.
Christians who work from right and wrong are easily entrapped by judgment
when they see negatives in others, especially when it is in fellow Christians,
becoming contaminated in their heart. Outwardly, the words of love and
acceptance are used, but from that moment on, however, they are a hypocrite,
saying one thing with their mouth and their heart believing another. Pride will not
let them acknowledge their judgment that has taken them into idolatry.
Everything starts with Pride. Pride, the is the root expressing itself in
disobedience and judging. All that follows is fruit…
Rejection (see below for fruit of Rejection)
Control (see below for the fruit of Control)
The principality and power of death and hell attempts to kill the body, and the
point of entry is Rejection (1 Samuel 15:26). Living a lie about the true state of
the heart immediately follows (Isaiah 28:15 Genesis 2:17; Deuteronomy 5:16;
Revelation 20:14)
The Effects of Idolatry:
1. Idolatry leads to Fear..
Where there is negative emotion, arising from a judgement, it sets up Rejection,
which is the control of Fear.
Rejection is a death curse which causes death over relationships and it will
bring some form of death into the people as well. Wherever rejection is in a
person, death enters into their life. Something dies, and anyone under the power
and control of rejection is under death not physically, necessarily, but part of
them is dead.
The process of Rejection..
“Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling.” (Prov.
Nine downward steps of the control of Rejection:
1. Broken communion – withdrawal (Heb.12:15)
2. Ungrateful – seeing negatives only (2 Tim.3:2)
We see and remember the negative, being unable to see any good in anything.
There is something wrong with everything. Elephant syndrome, a long memory
of the negatives!
3. Stubbornness – rejecting authority (1 Sam.15:23)
Rejection of authority instead of respecting and honoring it.
4. Open rebellion – taking own authority (Is.14:12)
I become my own authority.
5. Become rejected (Gen. 3:24)
In applying law to control the rebellion, all that is being achieved is that control is
being used to control, control! Because it is law that is being used, instead of
relationship, the result is more and greater rejection.
6.Compatibility of Rebellion – formation of cliques (Num 16)
We need others to bolster up where we are. I look for “gang association” for
others of like mind we are right and the others are all wrong.
7. Become immoral – defending wrong (Rom.1:21-32)
We defend wrong we defend what we’re doing as right, everyone else is
wrong. At this point a switch takes place and guilt enters in.
8. Guilt – condemning others in order to cover up (Rom.2:1)
You know guilt has entered because they condemn others to cover up! If you are
going around condemning, you are guilty. We judge others because we do not
want then to judge us!!!
9. Suicidal tendencies – mood extremes (Job.10:1)
Inside this person, in the very core, there are suicidal tendencies, anger, murder,
and death. The inner state of this person is unresolved grief, guilt, and
loneliness. Every person who opens their heart to others and (having an
expectation of being loved) judges, and when they do not get love back receives
a wounded spirit (Prov.15:13; 17:22; 18:14).
The Keys of Deliverance from the Spirit of Rejection…
1. Find the root of rejection
2. Find where judgment took it in
3. Repent – that takes care of Father God
4. Forgive – that takes care of fellow man
5. Renounce – that takes care of Satan
6. Receive Jesus into the place that was freed
7. Ask the Holy Spirit to anoint afresh your life
You will know you are free from the idol that controls through fear,
condemnation, bitterness, accusation, anger, joylessness, doubt, depression,
physical, mental and emotional pain and conflict (see tormentors, Matthew
18:34,35) because you are no longer controlled by that situation and within, you
will sense love, joy, peace (see Colossians 3:15).
2. Idolatry leads to Independence..
Depression is anger turned inward from disappointment from unfulfilled
The temptation to independence is the means by which Satan has his claw deep
in many a professing saints heart and is able to pull them down. However, the
Holy Spirit allows the depression to expose the heart of the believer so they can,
know the truth and be set free. (John 8:32).
Unfulfilled expectations are actually idols in the heart, and if left unguarded,
easily lead to disappointment and anger. In order to deal with depression, don’t
look at the anger, but to the unfulfilled expectations, and specifically with the
judgments behind them because the depression is locked in through them.
The expectations came from the wrong tree – resulting in judging, justifying,
accusing, defending wanting to put self up and the other party down, thus
gaining control and activating control.
3. Idolatry leads to Control:
Control exerts itself through anger.
Anger is first mentioned in the Bible in the account of Cain (Gen. 4:5).
Anger is the response of the sinful nature, to someone challenging an idol in the
Anger is an emotional feeling of agitation, offended pride, that opens the door to
a root of bitterness (Heb. 12:15).
Anger is an open demonstration of pride and rebellion.
Anger is a negative emotional response that lets in hate, that can lead to murder
(1 John 3-15).
Anger is the root of disappointment, of being tricked (deceived); it is the fruit of
idolatry to man (trusting man) (Matt. 2:16).
Definition: Anger is hate with negative emotion.
In the light of these characteristics of anger, you would think that there was no
room for anger. Christians, however, do try and make room for it through such
Scripture as “Be angry and sin not” (Eph.4:26). However, many other Scriptures
make it plain that there is no room for anger, whatsoever, such as, “Put away all
anger…” (Eph. 4:31, Col. 3:8).
There is, however, no conflict between them for the meaning is that we are to put
away anger as soon as it rises in us! Even the Scripture, “Do not let the sun go
down on your anger..” (Eph. 4:26), does not allow for it; it is patently absurd that
we are to be allowed to be angry all day, only having to deal with it as night falls!
No, we are commanded to put away all anger.
Further Scriptures on this:
“Anger rests in the bosom of fools.” (Ecc. 7:9)
“The anger of man does not work the righteousness of God.” (James1:20)
In other words, God cannot do His work when man is angry. When man walks in
the authority of God there is no room for anger. However, many work out of
anger because they have no authority.
Do I get angry? Yes. Am I entitled to be angry? No, because behind the anger is
judgment. What do I do about my anger? Repent!
Anger is a fruit, it is a, “what”, but God works on the “why”, because it deals
with the root and not just the fruits.
Anger is actually murder and the first thing it murders is relationships. You
cannot have a living relationship with anger. It destroys every relationship and if
left long enough it will kill.

(E) What is a Soul-Tie and How Does That Work?

What is a soul-tie? It is to be emotionally bonded in the heart to some one or
some thing. This may be from God, and therefore positive, or from the enemy,
and therefore negative, bringing bondage and control. It means that when I give
my heart I let that person have control of me emotionally.
Good soul-ties:
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
and they will become one flesh.” (Gen. 2:24 )
This is the first commandment of marriage. It means to, “be joined”, “to cleave”
and to, “cling to”. Also…
“So now, if the boy is not with us when I go back to your servant my father and if
my father, whose life is closely bound up with the boy’s life,” (Gen. 44:30)
(See also, 1 Sam 18:1; 1 Chron 12:17; 2 Kings 5:26; 1 Cor. 6:16)
Soul-ties that destroy both Soul and Body :
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body,
but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” (1 Cor. 6:18)
This, and others, are soul ties which are contrary to God”s word. They take place
especially through adultery and fornication.
Control of Emotions by Fear:
It all starts when a person lets someone or something control their emotions that
does not have the persons interests in their heart.
What happens is that a “negative soul-tie” is created by an idol in the heart
(Ezekiel 14:3-4-7), the idol gaining entry to the heart through a judgment – an
expectation that another party is going to open their heart to us. It is then
evidenced in the hurt feelings experienced by the one who has opened their
Through the expectation (judgment) they are thus bound by their feelings to the
one from whom they are not receiving a return of love.
However, a soul-tie is also generally to be found in the other party, certainly
where the heart has been hardened. It arises from a judgment ruling in the
loveless heart, their heart hardened, coming from law, without mercy and love,
cutting off of their emotions, having no sensitivity toward the one who has
opened their heart.
Thus, it is a trap to have an open heart to any one, or thing, that does not have
the same open heart to you, and, practically speaking, the trap could even be
presented by opening your heart to a person you desire to help, but doesn’t want
it. (This is to manifest “Caretaker Spirit” and is driven by an idol in the heart
through fear, creating a soul tie to good works. It is trying to earn approval.)
Jesus, Himself, did not open His heart to those who hearts were hardened
toward Him…
“But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, for He knew all
(John 2:24)
Those controlled by their emotions in this way will forever be forming soul-ties
and dependencies with those around them, especially those they love and
respect and whose approval they desire. Consequently, where emotions are
controlled by fear, it is a hindrance to hearing and loving with a pure heart. In
fact, we need to be aware that emotions are an open door to control through
Fear creates. (Job 3:25)
Fear is a spirit. (2 Tim 1:7)
Fear involves torment. (1 Jn 4:18)
Where there is pure love there is no control.
When ministering out of Father God’s Love, there is no ulterior motive.
Give wanting nothing in return, taking no account of wrong.
Moreover, as strong as emotions might be, they are not the guide to the will of
God. If it feels good, that is no reason it is right. Only a word from Jesus is pure.
If circumstances are right, that is no reason it is right…
“When a gentle south wind began to blow, they thought they had obtained what
they wanted; so they weighed anchor and sailed along the shore of Crete”. (from
Acts 27: 9-13 )
The error here resulted from going to the “Tree of the Knowledge of Good and
Evil” for an answer, whereas a witness of the Spirit expresses itself in a gut
feeling, and not an emotion. (Jn. 7:38; 1 Jn. 2:27)…
How can I know that I am walking by the Spirit? Because the fruit of the Spirit is
evident. (Gal 5:16)
A negative soul-tie is a deadly weapon that kills, binding a person to another
person or situation in such a way it controls, drives, torments, and will finally
destroy. It is the killer that causes the body to break down through all kinds of
Jesus had it right. He distinguished between the urgent and the ultimate,
important over the immediate and was not driven by need or emotions. (Mk 1:30)
To be free, we need to..
Forgive rejection
Repent of idolatry and renounce the soul tie out of your heart
Cut the control of fear
The fruit of the release is peace. (Jn. 14:27 Phil 4:7. Col 3:15)

(F) Trauma and its Control

“Trauma” is a fear locked into the emotions and the cells of the body through a
“Why should you be beaten anymore? Why do you persist in rebellion? Your
whole head is injured, your whole heart afflicted. From the sole of your foot to the
top of your head there is no soundness-only wounds and welts and open sores,
not cleansed or bandaged or soothed with oil”. (Is. 1:5,6)
Dealing with Trauma takes place through the healing of every imprint in the
emotions and the cells of the body caused by:
Rejection, criticism; physical blow; loud noise; event related shock or stress
Wounded emotions (Trauma) come when the intentions are good but an offense
or sin occurs through disobedience, and when the offense was made much of by
a person in authority. Having been unjustly judged (by authority), the person who
committed the offense, keenly aware of the injustice, judges the lack of love and
is thus traumatized.
Example. Out of disobedience, a child, putting its head in a dog’s mouth and
subsequently bitten, it was the dog that was punished by being shot, instead of the child.
Captivated by guilt, without any possible correction of the situation, the
child judged itself and was thus traumatized. This child was three years old and
even though it had no memory of the event, as a result of the trauma formed a
soul-tie (actually a “caretaker spirit”) toward animals, bound in to ever trying to
protect them from harm.
The results of the Curse of Trauma:
The traumatized person is one, ruled by Fear, Insecurity, and “No
Understanding”, and is unable to look at situations logically and is not free to
know or understand what is right to do. It is guilty from the inside, locked in
through unforgiveness and living in isolation. (Psalm 38:11)
“Placed in the hands of the tormentors (fear)” (Matthew 18:34-35 )
“The torment is fear”. (1 John 4:18 )
“End up in the lake of fire.” (Revelation 21:8)
However, we are not to be ruled by Fear…
“God has not given us a spirit of Fear..” (2 Timothy 1:7 )
Fear is “Negative Faith!” It creates in the same way as faith.
“For what I fear comes upon me, And what I dread befalls me.” (Job 3:25)
(However, note that the creative power behind fear is Satan, as the story of Job
makes clear, for this is where Job’s originated from.)
Trauma is a result of deeply rooted guilt, locked in through the judging of self and
the refusal to forgive one’s self. (Even where the event is seemingly out of our
control or responsibility, and as one living under law and not grace, the inner
man of the person judges itself.)
Pride is what locks it in. Through pride, we don’t forgive (ourselves), we thus get
locked in and can fall straight into rebellion deception and perversion.
While in a physical body, Trauma influences how I feel about some one (or thing)
and has more power over me than what I think.
In this life, offenses will come! Those offenses rooted in our judging, where guilt
is present, opens us to hurt and trauma, but because of the pride, Father God
must remove His protection.
To get free of Trauma:
Given that there is no mental or intellectual memory of the event or the offence in
Trauma, it is necessary to get revelation through the Holy Spirit.
Repent of disobedience to authority and ask another person to pray for you,
taking authority over the spirit of fear and commanding the emotions to be

(G) The Destruction of Independence and Control in Marriage and all Relationships.

Definition: “Independence is the condition of man being disconnected from his
Creator, having chosen to live from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil,
instead of out of relationship and intimacy with God.”
Relationships are all about being dead to self and alive to God and each other.
That is, it is dying to independence, since independence being the destruction of
the communication and love…
“ not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests
of others” (Phillipians. 2:4 )
Most people have come from a very independent background, but this also
creates loneliness.
Independence cries out for fellowship, yet at the same time cries out for space.
All day long we do independent things from our wives and husbands, and they
from us, and both have a choice to judge or not to judge, to break or stay
Being independent will not break a marriage, but judging independence will. In
fact, all relationships are broken through judgments.
Why do you think people don’t want to get married these days? Because they
dont want responsibility of dealing with independence.
When a couple marry, they die to independence and from that moment on fight
desperately to maintain their independence. Add children and the fight gets
stronger, because there is less time for “me”, for self!
All the time, Jesus, with all the compassion of his love for us, is desiring we
surrender and let Him live in and through us, so that by His strength we can be
all He desires for a wife, husband and children, and those around us.
When we fight for independence we activate manipulation, domination and
control. In men, the disposition is to manifest independence (and its
manipulation, domination and control) by not communicating!
On the other hand, through judgment of men, the disposition of a woman is to
manifest independence (and its manipulation, domination and control) by
accumulating all the knowledge they can about their own feelings and emotions,
and so have no need of a man.
Independence is in the sinful nature and the “task” of the married couple is to
overcome independence, and so to establish communication and relationship.
However, most never make it this far! Instead, they judge each other’s
independence – a terrible dilemma, since in “judging the judging”, they are bound,
with no possibility of intercession by one to set the other free.
Eve was created as a help meet. To be that she needed information. However,
instead of gaining it from God or her husband, and driven by the spirit of
independence, she went to find it at the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.
In this way, Satan offered Eve information apart from Adam by eating of the tree
of knowledge. By eating from that tree, Eve became controlled by knowledge,
knowledge became an idol. Adam by taking the fruit from Eve became controlled
by Eve’s emotions. In so doing, emotions became both their idol.
When a woman is upset she speaks logic, bombarding the male with questions,
(although the root behind this is actually judgment and its fruit, anger).
When a male reacts to emotional control, by judging it, he comes under its
control. By exhibiting emotion himself he is showing that he is under emotional
control. What is happening is that he is actually manifesting the woman’s
emotions, getting angry or going into silence (which is control).
All males can communicate as long as there are no emotions involved! It is
illustrated in men who will chat for long a time about external issues.
Personal testimony. Having come to Jesus at the age of 16 a lump of ignorant
uncouth humanity full of rejection, now desiring to be truthful to following Jesus,
with no idea that Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to do it all as long as I surrender my

(H) The Root of Divorce

Definition: Divorce is “a complete or radical severance of closely connected
things.” It means, “to cut off; separate or disunite”
“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”
(Amos 3:3)
“How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! It is like
precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on
Aaron’s beard, down upon the collar of his robes. It is as if the dew of Hermon
were falling on Mount Zion. For there the LORD bestows his blessing, even life
forevermore.” (Ps. 133:1-3)
“[Love] is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no
record of wrongs.” (1 Cor. 13:5)
The most important thing in marriage (and all relationships) is to walk free of
judgment, because Judgment creates separation.
Through judging, the absence of love turns “giving into wanting”, a “demand for
rights, instead of a fulfillment of responsibilities”.
When two people meet for the first time and form a relationship, and before
judgment comes in, there is total acceptance. Why? Because there is no
knowledge on which to form a judgment!!!
All relationships are built on attraction and desire, but when these (godly) desires
are turned into expectations through judging “good”, the foundation of the
relationship becomes based on law (instead of love and grace). The result is
However, because there are expectations in the heart, the failure in either party
to meet them gives rise to disappointment (which is in itself judgment) and
further resulting in depression (for depression, see Part (I) ).
“… for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matt. 6:21)
At the point that the desire of one party has become an idol in the heart, (and
which has entered through an expectation, a judgment) but is unfulfilled by the
other, the ensuing judgment by the first party locks in disappointment.
If not dealt with, disappointment turns to bitterness, further judgments then
come, opening the door to divorce.
Knowing what the effects of judging are within relationships when one judges,
getting it right is so powerful!
In the case of a marriage, the one who judges has taken their heart out of the
marriage and from that moment on the spirit of divorce is activated. Such is the
depth of the curse of judging in marriage that left untouched it will surely bring
the marriage down.
Judging within marriage is the key divorce uses.
The moment that happens the one who judges separates themselves out,
speaking as a teacher, talks down to the other and has no sensitivity to the
others feeling.
“[Jesus] said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you
to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.” (Matt.
The values of our culture or our family that we live by is actually laws. By
definition, since it is law, the result is judging. In other words, at the everyday
level and at the lowest level of our thoughts, we live by judging!!! We bring these
standards and values, which are nothing more than laws, into our relationships
and they form the basis of the offences that we judge to have taken place in
Testimony. A husband made a decision to rent a house that was for sale,
believing they would be in it for some time before it would be sold. However, it
sold the day they moved in. Sadly, the wife, judged her husband for his
decision*, with the result that the spirit of divorce entered into the relationship. If it
is not dealt with, it will result in actual divorce. However, if the wife removes her
judgment, the spirit of divorce will be judged, since forgiveness is the judgment
of God*, and the marriage can be restored.
(* Actually, the wife was judging her husband’s judgement, since his decision
was not the judgment of God for the family, but his own, proceeding from the
Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Moreover, the husband was not acting
from relationship and intimacy with his wife, thus uncovering her.)
(**Sin is judged by forgiveness, because forgiveness is the way that sin is
canceled! Through the Cross, and His forgiveness, God has dealt with and
removed the sins of the world. A man’s sins forgiven, it is imperative that it be
understood that it is not his sins and transgressions that send a man to Hell,
since they are only fruit, but the absence of relationship with God!)

(I) Law Verses Grace

“But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.” (Gen. 6:8 )
“For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.”
(John 1:17)
Definition: “Grace is “unmerited favor”. It is the decision taken to bestow favor
and to “overlook” offense, based not on the merit of the recipient, but on the
goodness of the benefactor.”
Law brings condemnation, but grace brings mercy. Law “uncovers” sin, but grace
“covers” it. The example is to be found in Noah, himself. His son, Ham, instead of
covering Noah’s nakedness and shame (with grace), put law upon his father and
judged (condemned) him (according to that law). As a result, Ham, himself, was
cursed, coming under the judgment of God and cast out of His favor. Ham
was, in fact, judged according to his own law! Indeed, we can see from this
example that through judging, we thus “fall into the hands of the living God”. And,
as it says, it is a “fearful thing”. (Hebrews 10.31)
Through judging, man is raising himself above the throne of God and God,
Himself, falling into the very same trap that Satan fell into. (Isaiah 14)
For all those who will leave the place of the “Tree of the Knowledge of Good and
Evil” and the making of law through judging, there is total forgiveness and
freedom to enter into the sanctuary of His, God’s, favor and all the blessings
therein. Praise be to the Lord.
“And straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one
condemn you? And she said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I
condemn you; go your way. From now on sin no more.” (John 8:10,11)
If you live by the law you will have an argument! If you live out of the Spirit you
will have no argument, because you live out of love. Every time I judge another, I
am putting a list over my own life.
If you live out of good and evil, if you are walking out of the soul, if you are living
by the Law, these are the things that you will manifest:
Law (not love)
Self (not others)
Sacrifices (life is burdened)
Religion “Making law of what we heard yesterday instead of getting fresh
manna daily.””
Martyrs “People who will die for causes and give themselves in sacrifice, but
they are ruled by their mind”
Ruled by the Mind – Ever learning and getting an idea of the Truth, yet never
actually coming to the Truth, since it is only to be found in knowing Jesus, who is
the “Truth, the Way and the Life” (Jn. 14:6)
If you are ruled by the Spirit:
Walking in the Spirit – you cannot tell where they are coming from or where they
are going since they live by the Spirit. (John 3:8)
There is no Law – guided by God, not rules (Gal. 5:16)
There is no Sacrifice – whatever you do is all joy (Neh. 8:10)
There is Freedom from Control – You are at peace with self and others around
There is no Fear – You cannot control someone who is not afraid. Fearful people
are fearful of fear-free people because they cannot control them (Gal. 4:30)
There is Life – not burdened down with the cares of this world.
There is Health – your body might get the flu but you do not get it!!!
There is Vitality of Life Inside – so whatever happens on the outside does not
matter as much.
There is Love, Joy and Peace – life is not burdened and full of pain.

(J) How Spiritual Issues Affect the Physical Body

“Then it shall come about, because you listen to these judgments and keep and
do them, that the Lord your God will keep with you His covenant and His
loving kindness which He swore to your forefathers. “And He will love you and
bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit
of your ground, your grain and your new wine and your oil, the increase of your
herd and the young of your flock, in the land which He swore to your forefathers
to give you. “You shall be blessed above all peoples; there shall be no male or
female barren among you or among your cattle. “And the Lord will remove from
you all sickness; and He will not put on you any of the harmful diseases of Egypt
which you have known, but He will lay them on all who hate you. (Deut. 7:12-15)
The promise of God is that He will take away all sickness, as long as we walk in
His ways. See also…
God is the one who heals (Exodus 15:26)
Serve God and He will take away all sickness (Exodus 23:25)
Bore our sicknesses, by His stripes we are healed (Isaiah 53:4-6)
Who heals all your diseases (Psalm 103:1-5)
As the Father sent me I send you (John 20:21)
These signs will follow those who believe (Mark 16:17,18)
Call Elders, anoint with oil (James 5:13-15)
Reasons why people are not healed:
Unconfessed sin (Psalm 66:18) – Especially of being angry, unforgiving and
Disobedience – The rebellious dwell in dry places (Psalm 68:6)
Unbelief – (Mark 6:5,6)
Un-forgiveness – (Mat. 18:34,35; Mark 11:25,26; John 20:23)
Occult – (Deut. 18:9-12)
Sowing and reaping – (Galatians 6:7-8)
Sickness and how it relates to the word of God and relationships:
These symptoms can come from the environment, not always the sin of the
person. However, through judging, there can be a transfer of sickness into the
person who judges. In other words, in judging the sickness, it is visited upon him.
(Matt 7:1-6)
The following Bible references speak about the relationship between judging and
sickness. (Please note, however, that it is not to be used as a means of
diagnosis, but rather only as a starting point for revelation that is to be sought
and found through prayer.)
Starting with, “Death and life are in power of the tongue.” (Deut.18:21), there are
many examples of this….
CANCER – Grief (Psalm 31:9,10) – In the physical realm, an
independent spirit causes one cell to rebel
against the all other cells. It is a cell of the body
the immune system need to be told to attack
and destroy it.
ALHEIZMERS -Guilt (Proverbs 28:13; Romans 2:1)
ANGER -Disappointment, deceived, tricked (Matthew 2:16)
DEPRESSION – Depression is anger turned inwards through
disappointments arising from false expectations (1 Kings 21:4; Luke 24:17 ..sad)
BACK PAIN – Jealousy (Psalm 64) – Lower back = Burden
JOINT PAIN – No love in relationships (Ephesians 4:16
Colossians 2:19)
HEART – Fear (Luke 21:26)
BLOOD PRESSURE – Anger (1 Samuel 25:37-38) – a stroke because
of his anger)
HAIR – Frustration (Ezra 9:3)
VEINS – Restricted circulation, frustration
ARTHRITIS – Bitterness, resentment (Heb. 12:15)
FOOT PROBLEMS – No peace (Ephesians 6:15)
KNEES – Problem between person and their parents (Gen.
30:3; 48:12; 50:23; 2 Ki. 4:20;
Is. 66:12)
LIVER – Seduction (Prov. 7:23; Ezekiel 21:21)
KIDNEYS – Mind blockage (Ps. 73:21; Jer. 17:10 )
HEART – Some of the curses of idolatry (Deut.28)
BOWELS – No compassion (1 John 3:17 (KJV); Col 3:12)
WOUNDED EMOTIONS – Trauma (Isaiah 1: 5-8)
MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS – Humiliation with shock, locked in through deep
revenge because have not forgiven
(Lev. 26:16; Deut. 28:22)
ASTHMA – Smothered by mothers emotions when a child.
fear. (Rev. 21:8; 2 Tim. 1:7)
ECZEMA – Witchcraft, superstition from grandmother
SKIN – Leprosy (Lev.13)
PAIN AROUND HEAD – Witchcraft (1 Sam. 15:23; Is. 26:3) – mind not on
BREASTS – Lack of comfort and provision, seat of love (Prov.
5:19) Can be the result of having an abortion. A
Hormone lodges in the breast
EYES – Sexual immorality (Jud. 16:2; Matt. 5:27-29)
Disobedience (Deut 28:28)
THYROID – Body full of adrenalin from always being alert, no
rest (Heb. 4:11)
NECK – Stiff necked, stubborn (Ex. 32:9; Deut. 10:16;
31:27; 2 Chron 30:8; 36:13; Acts 7:51;
1 Sam. 15:23; Prov.1:8,9; 3:3; 6:20-23)
SHOULDERS – Bearing burdens (Matt. 11:28-30; Neh. 9:29)
HIPS – Wrestling against God (Gen 32:24-25)
STOMACH PAIN – Lies and deception (Eph. 6:14)
CHEST PAIN – Unrighteousness (Eph. 6:14)
BONES – Wounded spirit (Prov. 14:30; 17:22)
HEMORRHOIDS – Holy vessel in unholy temple (1 Sam. 5:6)
DEPRESSION – Anxiety in the heart (Prov. 12:25)
ANOREXIA/BULIMIA – Death Curse (Ps. 107:17,18)
M.E – (See below)
In addition to the conditions commented on above, scripture and experience also
indicate that the body is affected according to human relationships, with the right
side being male, and the left side, female. (Song of Solomon 2:6; 8:3; Ecc.10:2;
Matt. 25:33)
It means that should there be a problem in the right side of your body, then it is to
do with male relationships. Example, right knee = father.
Also, from, “Mind and Medicine” by David Black:
MALIGNANCY is a response to despair.
PATIENTS LIKELY TO GET CANCER, inability to express emotion, the inability
to grieve, hold resentments, cannot forgive, self-pity, cannot develop and
maintain long term relationships. Poor self image.
LUNG CANCER, intense emotional repression.
PATIENTS LIKELY TO THROW OFF CANCER, someone with high ego strength
and high self esteem, flexibility of thought, the ability to tolerate stress, a healthy
enjoyment of people plus capacity to be comfortable alone.
PATIENTS LIKELY TO GET HEART ATTACKS, short tempered, competitive,
aggressive,urgent,impatient. Constantly feeling under pressure and fighting time.
A frustrated angry over achiever.
shy, intolerant, anything less than perfection, inhibited, tense,
nervous, moody. Convinced their Mothers had rejected them, and their fathers
had been extremely strict. Unable to express anger, oddly fond of sports.
PATIENTS SUFFERING FROM COLITIS, tend to be obsessive, compulsive,
indecisive, fanatically neat, morally rigid, over intellectual, conforming and
anxious, fastidious. Sheep anxious. to stay in the flock.
This is a “Me” disease! The nerves are detached from the brain, causing wasting
diseases in the muscles, sapping strength and leaving the person frustrated.
Stressed, Frustrated, Angry, Deep resentment, Contentious, their “Will” is not
under God or Man. Having no submission in their heart, the result is that there is
no protection, no cover, leaving them naked, both spiritually and emotionally.
They believe they are not heard; they have something important to say, yet no
one listens.
They are often high achievers under stress, resulting in their gifting and capacity
being out of balance. They run on emotional energy, and if not checked, the
result is, “Burn Out”.
In women, they marry laid back men who will not respond at the snap of a finger,
making the situation worse, bringing out more frustration.
Again in a female, deep in their heart there is a resentment toward Father God
because he made male first, not female. The reason behind the resentment is
because they see much more detail faster than men and believe their abilities
are not being recognized in a male dominated world.
Male or female, when ability is blocked by a person in relationship authority to
them, unforgiveness sets up a curse, locking the person in to being continually
frustrated, resulting in becoming drained and burnt out emotionally.
Men manifest M.E. out of explosive anger from tunnel vision that locks them into
one narrow frame of thinking. Frustrated at not being able to achieve their goal,
they get even more angry.
All of the above is the result of PRIDE in their abilities.
Because all ability is a gift from God, there is no room for pride and there needs
to be an attitude of compassion towards those who do not have abilities such as
their own!
Example. A man is able to drive fast and safe because of his ability to anticipate
what is happening on all sides and ahead. Being on a road full of traffic with
drivers who are not “with it”, for what ever reason, winds the person up who has
the ability. Not a nice situation. (“Road rage” is a fruit!)
The bottom line: There is no submission in the HEART, with all the tension
locked in through judgment.

Contact Roy Waldrom