Here is a dilemma.
When you say to a person who has judged another person or situation that he or she is wrong for doing so, would that not be doing the very thing Christians are not to do?

I agree with that, the key is, it all boils down to the motive of our hearts.

For 20 years the Holy Spirit lead me through researching the subject of forgiveness, produced a video message on it and that message has gone around the world, thousands of copies have found their way to many countries, then of late it is on DVD.

Then the Holy Spirit alerted me to the subject of judging, the root and the fruit, this also is on DVD

The 2 verses Jesus said, stand as a solid rock,
Matthew 7:1-2, Luke 6:37.
I have witnessed the fruit of these verses just as it says.
When I came to understand judging is how the world operates, all because it is eating from the tree Adam and Eve chose, thus locking all mankind into eating from that tree till Jesus died on the Cross and rose again, opening the door again for all to eat from the tree of Life.

Jesus returned to the Father and sent the Holy Spirit to live within all who let Him, so that those who seek to follow Jesus would live and do as Jesus did.
The key to Jesus life was he said several times [recorded in John’s gospel] “I do and say nothing unless my Father tells me, or I only do what my Father does.”
I believe Jesus said or did nothing outside of a moment by moment living relationship with Father God.
We are not told the conversations Jesus had with The Father at any one time, like when they brought to him the lady they said had been caught in the very act of adultery.
Only as we live in that same relationship when saying and doing anything, will we be doing it not out of judging according to the knowledge we received from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Now we come to the New Testament and the verses that indicate we are to judge and expose.
My belief is that the NT was written because the saints stopped living by relationship with the Godhead through the Holy Spirit, and what is written, tells people what they should be doing when walking in relationship, and how to get into relationship.

What happens when a believer will not listen to correction?
Matthew 18:15 to 20 gives clear direction.
The problem is we used those verses outside of a relationship, and use them as law.
My understanding is that each step should go like this.
After searching my own heart, go to the brother and tell him I love him, I do not agree with what he is doing, I am not his judge, and share with him that should he continue, there will be fruit from his actions, and is there any thing I can do to help restore.
If he does not listen, I am to go with one or 2 more, and say the same thing; if still not repentant tell the church to go and say the same things.
After that, if the man is not repentant, he will leave, because the love will draw him in, or drive him out.

The world is covered with lost, bruised, bleeding, wounded sheep, because no one has ministered in love; instead they have received law that has bruised them more.
How does it all happen?
It is because the church is now a culture, not teaching the individual member how to have a living relationship with Jesus, hearing His voice and following him. John 10:27.

All leadership mentioned in the NT is an anointing, not an office. Man, through pride, turned them into an office demanding all follow. The word ‘to Rule,’ mentioned in Hebrews 13:7 and 17, means to bring Joy, Peace, Contentment and Security.
Any person who is leading by that example will have many desiring to follow that.

My life story is on the web site www.forgiveit.com plus around 30 messages and the latest is under Roy’s Post.

Pray we all know the living relationship Father God desires us to have with Him and each other.

How I understand Church.
The verses I take very seriously are,
Mt 7:21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

The responsibility of the leadership anointing is to mature the saints to do the work, not to do it themselves, [Ephesians 4:11 to 14] just like a father who trains his children to become mature and leave home and take responsibility for their own family and so it goes on.

At the gathering of the saints the Word tells us that the body is to take part 1Corinthians 14:26. How is it then, brethren? when ye come together, every one of you hath a psalm, hath a doctrine, hath a tongue, hath a revelation, hath an interpretation. Let all things be done unto edifying.

Over the last 40 years the Pentecostal arm of the church has bred babies, it is all about control, keeping the flock in the fold and it has not worked There are millions of sheep wondering around lost because they do not know the only true shepherd, Jesus.

For 39 years we have listened to hurt sheep because the leadership has not brought healing,
Why?
Because they have not been an example, showing the sheep what true relationship is all about. How can they when their relationship with their wives and families are a mess, they have done as it says in Ezekiel 34.
All very sad, especially when a so-called shepherd falls because he has entered into pride through not being humble and transparent before the sheep, by believing their anointing gives them an office.
Proverbs 16:18 Pride comes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.

To be a true Christian is all about a living relationship with the Godhead and letting the anointing flow through who the Godhead chooses which makes every part of the body function as one, yet all different parts.

It has taken me almost all of my 72 years to die to self and be alive to Christ, nothing of me and all of Him.
Paul said, “I die daily”. 1Corinthians 15:31.
A true shepherd gives, taking nothing in return, looking only to Jesus for all his or her needs, no wages, nothing because Father God is supplying all they need as he promised when we seek first His Kingdom which is doing his will, and only His will, each and every day.
My wife and I are a proof of that.

I think I have mentioned several books that are number one reading for all saints at this time,
The Shack. By William P Young.
The Noticer. By Andy Andrews.
He Loves Me. By Wayne Jacobsen.
So you don’t want to go to church anymore. By Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Coleman
Reimagining Church. By Frank Viola.
Biblical Church. By Beresford Jacob.

They are all saying the same thing, all Heavenly Father desires is a living relationship with his creation, especially man who he gave the right to choose.

The other issue is that it is time we went back to understand the eternal purposes of God that we find in Genesis 1 and 2 and Revelation 21 and 22.
From Genesis 3 to Revelation is boot camp, man choosing which tree he would live by, the tree of life, or the tree of the knowledge of good and Evil

Order, discipline, routine. Three words that most people would interpret as law and used to control.
I have found the opposite to be true, those who do not have a foundation of these three are controlled by their circumstances.
Poor nations and people are because there is no discipline.

A friend commented on the above.
Why is there no discipline? Because when the white man came to some countries, Mexico and Africa to name two, he came with discipline and conquered those nations.
They entered into judgment of the white man, or rather the discipline,
and can’t ever succeed because discipline is, until they repent, not available to them as an option.
Here in this country [USA] we see that without discipline and perseverance you cannot succeed.
Most whites are taught it from their youth, non whites, are taught
these are the things whites use to keep them down, so they learn from youth that these are bad and taught that these are tools of the white man, so sad.
So how do some succeed?
We see clearly that those that become overachievers have
moved past this judgment. Either they have consciously forgiven the
white man, or sub-consciously done the same thing by adopting your “so what who cares” attitude toward the success of someone else. Then they can embrace discipline and perseverance and nothing stops them. Sad, they were the only ones stopping them before.

It is as you have always said. Go to the root, there is always a judgment.

Another subject.
The eternal purpose of the Creator.
What is it?
It is found in the first two chapters of the Bible and the last two chapters.
Without knowing that, man flops around directionless.

Man was created to tend creation and enjoy fellowship with the Creator.
That was all destroyed as recorded in Genesis chapter three and will be restored as recorded in Revelation 21 and 22 states.
Man has a choice to be part of that, or not, life on earth between Genesis 2 and Revelation 21 is boot camp, an opportunity to be moulded into the right shape to be part of the new.

Life style verses relationship.
Most professing Christians I know, their Christianity is a life style and they have never been taught that to live a true Christian life is a relationship.
What is the difference?
A life style is having set programs, living by laws, living a routine and little or no spontaneousness.
Living in relationship, is a person who is spontaneous, moving as directed by the voice of Jesus John 10:27.
Last week a teenager threw a bottle over a hedge that landed on the road right beside my bike and smashed.
I was blessed it missed me and the shattered bottle did not cut the bike tyres.
My first thought was that the person should be punished, but how, could I even find him. [I know it was a he because other kids yelled out that he would be in trouble]
My next thought was that the greatest punishment one could meet out would be to forgive him, take all judgment off him and bless him.
That I did, I was immediately free and knew that person sooner or later will come under great conviction.

As we know that was then and cannot be turned into law, every situation requires a now direction, that way one walks in LIFE.

11-5-09
Walking moment by moment hearing Jesus voice, [John 10:27] supersedes everything else.
You do not have to worry about anything.
Any thing less than that living relationship, is a substitute for a lack of that relationship.
Put another way, to be worried or concerned is a proof of the lack of that relationship.

12-5-09
This morning what is on my mind is a word study of the words know or knew. We all use words, but what do they mean, my study will be based on where these words are found in the Bible. The first reference that I know of is found in Genesis 4:1 And Adam knew his wife and through that knowing a child was created. The other reference that comes to mind is Philippians 3:10 That I may know him.

The message to the church world wide is that the Holy Spirit has finished with church [Luke 14:15-24] and calling all who know him to get out into the highways and byways and witness sharing true testimony and with signs following of healing and deliverance. Roy.

13-5-09
The Bible word to know means to enter into the secret place of another, Jesus said, depart from me, I do not know you. Luke 13:27.
Why? They had not let Jesus penetrate their hearts [inner most being]
In another place Jesus said they honored him with their mouth, but their heart was far from him, Matthew 15:8-9.

14-5-2009.
Getting to know a person starts with meeting them and communicating, sharing one’s dreams hopes, likes and dislikes.
Letting each other be open and honest which all takes time.
This must be two-way for a relationship to grow and be real.
It is no different building a relationship with the Godhead, except God starts it.
John 6:44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.
A classic example is when God came to a man called Abraham Genesis 12:1-3.

15-5-09
Father God has never stopped coming to individual man and calling then to himself.
Jesus died for the sin of the world, this is clearly laid out in the book of Romans, none were left out. The response is on the side of man.
One big problem arises when people are not taught to listen or how to hear God’s voice.
The following statement may help you to know how to hear.
God’s voice is in our thoughts.
We all need to stop and take time to listen to our thoughts.
Anther problem is that there are 4 voices in my thoughts, Gods, Mine, others and Satan’s.

16th May.
There is something happening to people leaving church that concerns me. Seems they are seduced into isolation and have no desire to gather on a regular basis as mentioned in,
Malachi 3:16 and Hebrews 10:25.
We read in Acts how the beginning of the church met regular going from house to house.
They have not lost their love for God, but a love to gather.

16 05-09.
Back to the words to know and knew. The following statement. “Depart from me I never knew you” Matt 7:23 was spoken in the mind of a person who thought they were truly born of the Spirit and had spent 11 years seeking to be a good Christian. It shocked them and not long after they had a true encounter with the God of the universe, who entered their inner most being and filled them with a knowing, plus a sense of love

17-5-09.
What does it mean to know from Father Gods stand, point?
It means to pierce [penetrate] the heart.
When this happens the individual receives the true seed of life and becomes pregnant with the Godhead and produces their nature, which is the fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, self control.

For all who desire more information on any subjects to do with relationship with the Godhead and fellow man go to the web site www.forgiveit.com.

18-05-09
To know has a lot to do with transparency, being totally open and honest.
Why are people not transparent?
One reason is because if they were they know they would be judged.
The Bible says[ James 5 16] that we need to confess our trespasses [faults] to one-another and pray for one-another that we may be healed.
The sad part is that as a child we soon learned to keep our mouths shut because when we told the truth we had our heads bitten off, or what we shared was told to others.
The heart’s desire of every human is to be loved accepted and forgiven.

19-05-09.
Ever thought what it would be like if we all walked around and people could hear what we are thinking.
2Corinthians 10:4-5 we are told the spiritual warfare we all fight is the battle that rages in the mind, and we are told to bring every thought into subjection to the ways of the Holy Spirit.
In Philippians 4:8 Whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

20-05-09
I viewed the video on Tangle.com about Anthrax that people are getting stirred up about. They are on the wrong track, it is all about good and evil as both sides see it and none of it is from eating from the tree of life. All working out of judgment.
There is a verse Ps 118:6 The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?

Why is any professing Christian fearful of physical death other than they do not know or have eternal life.
We are not to fear Him who can only destroy the body,
Mt 10:28* And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. This sort of video clip should stir professing Christians to cry out for the lost and stop thinking of saving their own skin.

21-5-09.
Today joined tweeter my user name is stirrer
I get the name from Heb 10:24* And let us consider one another to provoke [stir-stimulate] unto love and to good works:

22-5-09.
Learned that it is not wise to give some one advise if they have not asked for it, in asking they will then be prepared to listen.

23-05-07.
A couple we had not seen for some long while, popped in for a few hours, and it seemed there was a close bond that no matter any differences the friendship could not be broken. This was mentioned and one person replied, “The reason was, we were 4 people not being controlled by rejection”.
Food for thought.

26-05-09
What should a person do when it seems they have come to the end of the road in life issues? Know some choose to end their life, would it not be better to fined some one who loves you and ask for help, or go to www.forgiveit.com.

27-05-09.
All mankind desires to be loved, accepted and forgiven, why is it not happening? Answer. Because of judging those who failed to do it which precludes one from receiving it.
For further information, go to www.forgiveit.com

29-05-09
The one thing that is at an all time low is people living in true relationships, being able to say I know that person and doing all to build them up and encourage them.
To do that the key is in listening that takes time.

Heni Tupe at 7:38pm May 29
Really like this one Roy!! Why is it at an all time low now – or are people just becoming more open?

Roy Waldrom at 1:23am May 30
People are so busy, we live in and age of information overload, also things have become more important than people.
Because the economy of the world is falling apart many are waking up to what is most important, people or things.:54am May 30
Also in thinking about what communicating is all about, the art of listening has been lost, people are hearing out of where they are at, instead of out of where the other person is at.

1-6-09.
Who or what is a Christian? Is not the answer found in the word Christian, translated Christ one.
A person who is the image of Jesus.

1-6-09
Today I repented of the sin of seeking to put people right, not my responsibility,
That belongs alone to the Holy Spirit alone.

2-6-09.
How do we know what anything is?
By its shape colour and cent.
What should be the shape, colour and sent be of a Christian?

10-06-09.
It is all to do with the heart, to change the heart it is a choice, it is the judgment choices we have made that places things in the heart in the first place, now is the time to open the door of the heart and let the Holy Spirit have full authority to set it in order.
That is a simple choice.

19-06-09
True faith can only be had by first hearing a clear command and being obedient to that command. Where the command comes from, plus hearing it clearly is an open door for wonderful blessing or disaster.

27-06-09
Lawlessness is causing people not to gather.
One of the signs we are in the last days of the church age

No church in the home, the church on the corner is false.
The first church is the Godhead, 3 in one working in total harmony.
The first extension of that church is the church in the home, a Dad Mum and children living and working in harmony.
The church in the home you have to attend to, the church on the corner you just attend.

In other words the church in the family you have to work on and at, the church on the corner, you go and sit in, or work at, being busy with things, full of activity, not connecting with those you are doing things with because the project is No1.

People have the impression they are in relationship but it is just familiarity.

6-7-09
When is the church going to stop playing church and being church?
Ac 7:48* Howbeit the most High dwelleth not in temples made with hands; as saith the prophet,

10-07-09.
The only reason professing Christians should gather is to have Jesus as their focus.
Their song should be, We are gathering together unto HIM.
I comment to you the web site www.forgiveit.com

22-07-09
A Person shared that the book “The Shack” showed him the way that we have been conditioned to live under the law, authority, expectations, judgements and even the requirements of ‘responsibility’. I also now understand that my wife will have a better experience of life with me – if I live ‘in relationship’ rather than ‘under law’!

05-08-09
No I am not dead or lost, for the last 4 days been busy gathering and splitting firewood for next winter.
Mission accomplished, all done a few blisters, fit and hungry, a healthy sign for a 72 year old.
The amount gathered was what is called a cord stacked 8x4x4 feet, forgive me, I do not know what that is in metric.

Re forgiveness.
When one comes to understand that not forgiving finally destroys the one who does not forgive, forgiving takes on a whole new meaning and forgiving becomes a joy and pleasure.

There is a DVD message on forgiveness, to find out about it go to the web site www.forgiveit.com

06-08-09
For those who do not forgive, they live in the ever present state, of what they have not forgiven, they are bound emotionally and mentally, anger and frustration controls them.

The main thing is to make sure we are free of any judgment and leave every one else to respond how they choose, seeking to put matters right with others can sometimes be a guilt trip on my part.

11-08-09.
All children get their security from their mother, the mother gets her security from her husband, should the mother get here security from any other source the children will be brought up insecure.
The only one responsible for a woman’s security is first her Dad, then a husband.

Any mother who is receiving her security from any other source other than a husband, will have an independent spirit, therefore the children will be brought up under independence.
If not checked will manifest in rebellion.

13-08-09.
The husbands responsibility in marriage is to provide security for his wife, by knowing where she is spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically and supply the protection needed.

Agree, how can we forgive unless we know we are forgiven, hence that first forgiveness comes from above, but we will never experience forgiveness from above till we make the choice to forgive no matter what.

If you do not believe men and women are wired different, it is time to go back and read men are from Mars and women are from Venus.
Security comes through communication the very thing Adam failed to do and look at the mess relationship wise the world has been in ever since.

What Motivates Me.

I have now read the following 2 books twice, The Shack, and So you don’t want to go to church anymore,. The main thing I get out of both books is as follows.

From where I look at things, there are only 3 types of people,
1) Those bound because they have aligned themselves with the Antichrist through some vow to a culture, tradition or club he has set up, including the church denominations.
2) Those who judge them for doing so.
3) Those who are free because they walk each day hearing Father’s voice and being obedient with no judgment in their hearts.

The big game of the enemy is to get people involved, by joining up, or fighting it, because they judge it, what ever it is, by what they believe is right or wrong, instead of through a living relationship with Father God, speaking only what he says about it.
Only those who are free of both live true Kingdom.

A recent meditation is to do with coming to a place of revelation as to how much Father God loves us.
All our response should be to that understanding.
If not, one will still be bound by trying to earn Father’s love, which he gives freely because of Calvary.
Without that understanding, control reigns.

Paul said, “That I might know him”
To know someone at that depth is to spend time with them, letting him or her communicate the depth of their heart and vice versa.

Many married couples live together, sleep in a double bed, have sex, yet do not know each other, they think they do.

The only way to have an idea as to the depth of love is to remember when they first met.
I can remember when I first met my wife, I just wanted to spend all my days with her and do all I could to please her because I felt her love for me.

We use to sing a chorus.
I’m in love with Jesus and he’s in love with me, I’ll tell you why I love him because he first loved me.

So it all comes down to the question.
How much do I realize God loves me.

Any thing that gets between me and Father’s love, is a ploy of the enemy to get me to feel unworthy and live in fear and guilt.

Father God loves the homosexual and prostitute just as much as any one else, His love is ever present, the problem being that they do not know how much God loves them, and hence continue to live the life style they do.

The Holy Spirit does not come and go, it is us who shut off from him, because we either do not know how to maintain a relationship with him, or desire to be independent.

It is time to let the knowledge of how much Father God loves His creation melt our hearts.

Only then will the relationship be pure.

A discussion re marriage and divorce between Alec MacLeod and Roy Waldrom

Alec: This is really interesting because I faced exactly that situation yesterday.
A couple I know have separated. In the meantime he has hooked up with another woman, a believer, and she is pregnant. Yesterday, at the Breakfast, they wanted to know what I thought about it. I have been waiting for this to come up but I have not gone to them, although clearly they have wanted to ask for some time.

I said that as far as the baby was concerned, what the baby needed was a stable, loving couple to bring it up. (Whatever mess they are making of their own lives, there’s no reason to mess up another!)

I knew this wasn’t the real question they were asking, the real question was a moral one: What did I think about what they had done.

I just knew that somehow I wanted to keep this relational, not to fall into the trap that they should now get married, because they ought to. The first thing I said was, that by their physical union they were already married—the paper is for everyone else. As for whether they should get the piece of paper, my next answer was to ask them, “What is Jesus saying they should do?” which they hadn’t asked, of course. Their answer was that they felt they didn’t need to. I said that I didn’t ask them what they felt, but what did Jesus have to say about it—just to keep them on it.

I said that if they were going to base their relationship on what they were agreed about, then that would be the basis of their relationship (which I didn’t say was, independence). I said that it was OK when they could agree, but that the time would come when pressure would drive a wedge between them and they couldn’t agree and they would at least end up in conflict, if not separation, with all the damage that would do to the child. So, in essence, so as not to be left with the law answer, I made sure that they didn’t get past that issue.

I did, however, point out to them that as far as the ‘marriage’ issue was concerned, there was some substance in it that it did represent, if it was real, a decision and a statement, that you had decided to remain with one another for the rest of your lives and that there was a case, again with the child in mind, that gave it security. However, the more I think about all this, the less sure I am. Either the union is about relationship or it is not and no bit of paper will keep it together if it isn’t. Given that the divorce rate amongst (American) Pentecostal Christians, after they got saved, is higher that than in the rest of society, there seems to be little value in the social custom of getting married.

Perhaps we would be far better off not preaching about the importance of marriage, per se, and instead simply preaching what marriage is.
That marriage is a physical union and when you have done that, before God you are married.
If kids were taught that, they might be better prepared. Right now, they think that they can do it and so long as nobody knows, or if they say they are sorry to God, that’s the end of it.
If they were told that they’d lost their virginity, had immutably changed their state, that they were now married to someone, and if they didn’t carry on the relationship, they were divorced, this would give them a serious reality check!

One further thought about all this. The spirit of divorce is rooted in our independence. In fact, maybe we can say that divorce permits a spirit of independence (or that we place ourselves under its control).

Moreover, human agreement—which outwardly looks like unity— without God’s agreement is actually the strongest manifestation of Independence from God that there is. When men say, “Let US,” they are rising up against God, as they did when building the tower of Babel, just one example.

I guess that human agreement will often bind people together, but it is then a covenant of independence (from God). However, the very independence it is rooted in, means that it is not a relationship they have entered into of Life, but a covenant of Death. So, some people won’t get divorced again, but it is now only because of a greater oath (judgement) they have made. All a mess, looks like life, but is actually death.

Anyway, here is one scenario: a couple fall in love, have sex (get married), fall out of love, have sex with someone else (get divorced).
The falling out of love and the ensuing adultery takes place as they allow the spirit of independence in, and the actual divorce takes place through intercourse (adultery). The new union is now made on the basis of independence, even when the new partner comes along and says,” I know you are hurting, I can meet your needs.”
Based on independence, it can go either way, depending on either’s judgements.

We actually have another situation.
Whenever a women is in a loveless marriage, with no affection shown toward her at all, and worse than that, abuse, (which often is about the rebellion against her father who failed to make the daughter feel secure.) she will withdraw sleeping with her husband as punishment

For that reason alone the marriage is doomed, because there is no sexual union.

Apart from the frustration it causes in the husband and how it leads him to say and do very hurtful things, she is, in our estimation, divorcing him. On the other hand, he, not showing her any tenderness at all, is surely divorcing her also. So, here’s the thing, she in rebelling against her father, loosed independence and divorce into the marriage. Maybe she needs to go back and ask her dad’s forgiveness.
What do you think?

Roy: Dear Alec,
At the bottom of your email you asked me what I think?
The short answer to that is I am trying not to think because most thinking rises out of judgment, good and evil, right and wrong.

What I do know is that what you sent is spot on, especially the independence being the root of it all.
In the absence of independence, there would be no divorce, there would be a strong bonding, meeting each others needs which is called loving each other.

From whatever angle one looks at it, it all has its root in judging the failure of the human father who is the human representative of Heavenly Father who is the beginning and sustainer of LIFE.

True, marriage is death to independence, if not, much hurt will lead to divorce.

Marriage is
the union of 2 people through sexual intercourse.

If they do not stay with each other and wander off for whatever reason, they are divorced, and let in the spirit of control called divorce.

One will judge they have a right to walk away, the other will judge them for their lack of commitment.
This can start a series of relationships, never certain of a committed partner.
Both men and women who move through a series of relationships without the understanding of what marriage is and requires of them, have set up a cycle of judgement/disappointment….

Down the track they may marry, and unless either have repented for the first divorce and renounced the control out of their lives, any marriage will fail.

This has caused a huge amount of marriage break-ups, both in the Church and in the world.

REAL MARRIAGE IS THE DEATH OF INDEPENDENCE.
†
A marriage union is about relationship or it is not. If there is a physical union, before God, the people involved are married…whether there is paper or not. †
If a couple base a relationship about what they agreed about, then there is the wedge of discord if conflict arises. †One partner will judge the other out of independence.
†
The Spirit of Divorce is rooted in the Spirit of Independence. †Divorce allows the spirit of independence in, or rather we place our self under its control.
†
Human agreement [which outwardly looks like unity, but is without God’s agreement,] is the strongest manifestation of independence there is.
In such an agreement [without God] what exists is a Covenant of Death. †In such a scenario a couple fall in love, have sex [get married], fall out of love, have sex with someone else [get divorced].
The falling out of love and the ensuing adultery takes place as they allow the spirit of independence in and the actual divorce takes place through the intercourse [adultery]. The new union is now based on the spirit of independence.
†
Another scenario is a loveless marriage where the husband shows no affection to the wife. †She is divorcing him by lack of intimacy and he is divorcing her by lack of tenderness.
Key Point. †In the absence of independence, there would be no divorce. There would be strong bonding by each partner meeting the other’s needs—this is called loving each other.

†It would seem to me, that Independence is not the problem, but Judgment is the problem, because if there were no Judgment, there wouldn’t be any Independence.†Judgment is the door through which Independence is allowed to control.

As for the Love issue, Love is just simply a choice. † We choose to Love and we choose not to Love. † If we choose to Love someone, then we need to make that choice, not just once, but every day! It is basically getting up every morning and identifying who our spouse is and choosing to Love them for another day . . . just the same as we are instructed to do with Jesus. † Whoever will come after Me, let him take up his cross daily and follow Me . . .†

Again, I guess that problems come in this area when Judgment is exercised! ! ?† †If or when the Judgment is lifted, the relationship would return to normal.

I guess we could go even further back and look at whether or not the marriage relationship was Father God instigated . . . or not . . . or what was the heart motive for marriage in the first place! ! ?† †If not, then all sorts of problems, like the ones mentioned are more than likely to cause issues, especially in ‘Christian’ marriages.

Maybe the punch line should be . . . JUDGMENT IS THE DEATH OF REAL MARRIAGE AND LOCKS ONE INTO INDEPENDENCE.† †

The answer to all these problems . . . REPENTANCE! ! ! ! !† †Put everything on the altar, and then ask our Heavenly Father what to do.

REAL MARRIAGE IS THE DEATH OF INDEPENDENCE.

Also, we need to be careful not to separate the male and female needs!

1. Our goal is to underline that marriage is a relationship, not a contract, and to separate between these two, which are so muddled.

2. As part of that, we want also to say something about what a marriage actually is.
It is not fundamentally a loving relationship, per se—though it is designed to be, but that fundamentally it is the physical union between a man and a woman.

For all who are professing Christians they need to know what the Bible says on the subject, especially re the issue of not withholding sexual relations, except for the purpose of fasting. This must be by agreement.
Sex without love is a barren and even abusive experience.

3. We need to show why the physical union is so fundamental. There are wider spiritual aspects of what it represents, there is a transmission that takes place during intercourse. You could stir up some interesting comment on line with that one! I believe it is absolutely correct.

4. As a result of all this, marriage is not to be treated lightly, [as the marriage vows say]. If people, if teens, understood that when they had sex they were getting married, and understood something of the ‘change’ that takes place in them and before God as a result, and that it was not ‘just a sin’ that could be forgiven, or one that by concealing it alone wipes it away, and they knew about what it would mean to a future relationship, they would refrain from having a sexual relationship till they met the person they knew they wanted to spend the rest of their life with.

Bible references.
Genesis 2:24 4:1
1 Corinthians 7:4-5

In all our experience, there is no more powerful force than forgiveness.